100kg 100kg 100kg in a rhythmic cadence is how kids used to call me. I was the biggest child on the playground and even though I didn’t feel that way all the other kids saw me as big bowl full of soup (another song created by kids to mock me)
My name is Jessica a.k.a Seidowhi, I have always been a big girl. From the time I was a baby through out my elementary to college years. I always had to fight demons in my head to feel better about my self and believe me god was part of my daily routine. I remember one day as a kid. It was time for back to school shopping and since that year I did not get any clothes made, my parents were ordering from a catalogue. when it was my turn to pick, there was not big size for the pretty little dresses or skirts that I wanted. I had to shop in the ladies section. I remember living my parents room crying because all I ended up with was a Mickey Mouse t-shirt. I was devastated, ran to my room got on my knees and called on God.
Me: Father God please I’m begging of you. I never asked to be born this way why do I have to be the only one going through this. why I’m am so big God? Why cant I be as skinny as my sisters and get pretty dresses? what did I do wrong ? why are punishing me? please God if you love me the way they say you love all kids please do a miracle right now and change me into a skinny girl.
That was my prayer that day I cried and begged for a miracle and ended up thinking that maybe He did not love me enough.
Growing up was a constant battle in my head from the aunties
Them: wow you are too big you need to stop eating so much or you will never get a husband. No men want a big woman, don’t you know they like skinny girls, Look at your cousin how pretty she is skinny and tall. cant you be like her.
Me: ok aunty
I would smile then ran to a hidden place and cry my eyes off. I tried every diet I could land my hands on, I even fasted 7days on water and prayer for a miracle.
Fast forward to 3 weeks ago I have decided to change my life for the better not for anyone eyes or comfort but for me myself and I. Not only I’m changing my diet (intermittent fasting) but now I have also joined the gym.let my journey begin 😊
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