I have been away for quite awhile now for so many reasons and even I as I am write now, the demon that is depression is trying to weight on me but I will be stronger. As the year comes to an end the pressure to do good in 2019 is growing a well. Depression is a b**ch!
Yes, it is to fall into it and not realize it. I woke up some mornings feeling like I wasn’t myself, as if I need to be awaken from a suffocating horrible shadow upon me. It felt as if I didn’t want to get up from my bed and that nothing mattered. Then out of nowhere tears and, o would cry for no reason, wipe my tears seat up and start cleaning around me. Imagine feeling worthless like your existence didn’t matter like you were worthless, Imagine you are being choked you have the power to safe yourself but you stay motionless. That’s how I felt now and then.
My saviors have been and still are my faith in the highest power, my désir to fight, my find like for exercising( yep I’m now a gym rat) and music (mostly afrobeat) I would just Chanel my energy into being a better me get up go to the gym and take care of business. I have to say, I do allow myself to cry and with each tears goes the pressure inside my entire body.
Some days are good and so days are bad. Knowing that a ugly does not have to stay one is key. I try to make the best of everything by learning to think positive thoughts. I know what I want and I will get it as long as I do not let fear lead me to sink.
How do tou fight depression? How do you deal with a bad day?
What are your thoughts on how I deal with mine?